Submit and Love

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

If you are a husband or a wife, you know that this is a tough one. This is not easy to do, is it? This passage is inscribed on my wedding ring, as a reminder to how I am called to submit and love Robin, my wife (she put it on the ring because she knew that I would forget...). There are a couple of things that I have learned over the past 11 years with Robin - principles that have helped me to better submit and love her.

1. I am not called to submit to her out of reverence for HER, but for CHRIST. If I was called to submit based only on her actions or out of respect for her, I would, at times, be off the hook. Because she isn't perfect (although she is very, very close), I would have an out on the whole submission thing. BUT, I am called to submit out of reverence for CHRIST. This means that there is no out. My submission to her has nothing to do with how she responds to my love or how she treats me - my submission is based entirely on what Christ has done for me. My call is to submit to her no matter what may come up - no matter what hiccups we face - because Christ gave everything for me. When I remember this, it makes it much easier to submit again and again and again and again to her.

2. This passage says that I am supposed to be willing to lay down my life for Robin. Now, if push came to shove and it was my life or hers, I think it would be fairly easy for me to step up to the plate and give up my life. The odds of that happening are slim to none (and I think I just saw Slim walk out that back door). BUT, there are plenty of habits, hobbies and attitudes that I may need to be willing to lay down for her. DANG! When I said those vows 11 years ago, I thought I would have all the benefits of marriage AND get to keep doing everything I did as a single college student. Marriage involves sacrifice, and there were/are certain things that I need to lay down, just as Christ laid down His life for the church.

What does it mean to submit? Practically, what does that look like in marriage?
So, are you submitting to your spouse out of REVERENCE for CHRIST, or have you been submitting to your spouse ONLY when s/he deserves it?
Husbands, what hobbies, habits, attitudes, etc do you need to lay down for your wife, just as Christ laid down His life for the church?
What might change in your marriage with a couple of adjustments in your perspective based on these passages?


  1. Well said, Matt.
    Are you really making us go there?
    v. 31 talks about the two united into one. I've always heard that in reference to the physical bond. But, a lot of us in this culture have lost the emotional connection that is intended in a marriage relationship. Dan and I didn't have it for a long time. I know now it's definitely what God intended for marriage. Before, I couldn't see the picture of Christ and the church in our marriage. Now I can.

  2. I could use prayer support in honoring the things that help Dan feel respected. Marc and my humor loves to poke fun at everybody, even ourselves. With Dan's background and personality he's more sensitive to that. (It doesn't help that he's an easy target.) See what I mean? ;) So, to help Dan feel respected, I'm not supposed to laugh when Marc's jokes are toward him.
    The other things that are important to Dan is to see if he's open and available before I offer him input and to answer him when he asks me a question. I don;t know why that's so hard for me, but I could use your prayer.

  3. pam- prayers for you. that is an awesome pursuit...